Missionary Confidential

Halfway through the furlough presentations, he showed up again. I thought we were done with all of this.

About a year and a half into our mission in Western Europe, one of our supporting church pastors arrived in our country. Out of the blue. With three other people.

In fairness, he had contacted us in an email a couple of months prior, simply stating that he thought he might come over to our mission field. That was it: no dates, no mention of whether it would be a “fun trip” to visit us or a “mission trip” to do something, and no indication of who else would be coming. Honestly, we got so many of those half-hearted emails from many pastors and Christians that went nowhere, so our response to him (and others) asked for clarity on those details (especially the dates), and, like most of the others, we never got a response. That had always meant they dropped the idea and weren’t coming.

But this one was different. His secretary emailed us two months later to let us know that Pastor and three others were arriving the very next day. All the secretary provided us was the phone number of the hotel where they were staying and instructions to call Pastor once he arrived.  » Read the rest of this entry «

Furlough. Wow. Ugh.

I had a lot of trepidation about the demands of furlough. Some of them proved to be correct, others must have been myths, or churches are changing how they treat missionaries.

We learned a lot through the time, and for the few who seemed interested in what their church had been supporting for up to six years, I’m glad we got to speak.

If you remember from the last post on this subject, “Yet Sometimes God Closes the Door”, we spent our first few months catching up with family and friends. Still reeling from the circumstances that made us leave and also from reverse culture shock (by the way, it’s exactly as described), the time was much needed. A lot of prayer and waiting on God revealed that we were not going to return to that field or continue fundraising support for now. Despite the fact that this particular mission was over, we felt that we should still report/present to each supporting church, all of whom maintained support over most (in some cases, all) of the time we were in the field. In other words, not asking for more money, just letting you know what you paid for.

Considering the confusion this caused, I’m assuming this isn’t usually done in Missionary World.  » Read the rest of this entry «

We’re back in the States. For now.

We’ve been back for a few months. Praying, waiting, seeking God’s direction. I didn’t mean to leave the blog with the cliffhanger of  “The Voices in Your Head”, but shortly after that entry things went horribly wrong at the church we were serving.

Elders, deacons and church members spoke some of those exact words I had typed in April. Those voices became real. And there’s no way they read the blog; only my Other Half knows about it.

But that’s not the problem. We’ve had worse said and done to us. We’re grown-ups. We can take it. The real problem was that they used those words to justify their next step, which was to take the church down a very unBiblical path. And the membership made their stand firm.

We knew resigning was our only option, but what made it so hurtful was that, in leaving that church, it effectively killed our immigration permission. Due to new laws, we had to leave, seek another ministry opportunity in the mission country and then attempt to reenter later, resetting all permission back to the beginning. And those new laws have become ultra-restrictive to any new missionaries.

Almost 5 years of ministry stopped in what felt like a heartbeat. We had to return back to the States, completely unplanned and unprepared. It was (and still is) awkward, uncomfortable and left us pretty emotionally drained. But the most interesting part was in the leaving.  » Read the rest of this entry «

On the mission field you see a lot of things, hear a lot of things, feel a lot of things. But the hardest thing to overcome is the voices in your head.

You know what I’m talking about. They’re not audible (we’re not talking schizophrenia here), they don’t make logical sense, but they’re always there. Hanging on your every hang-up, weakness, and self-doubt, those voices know exactly how to get to you. And even though there’s no actual proof for 99% of it, you just feel that it’s so believable.

Oh, I had those voices before. Before I was a Christian, before I entered missions. I think—I know—a lot of people hear these voices, too. It’s just being human. But stepping onto Satan’s territory, the volume goes up. Way up. And the attacks are much more precise, delving deeper into your psyche than ever before. There they are, lurking at every turn, sometimes so out of the blue that it almost literally knocks the wind out of you. » Read the rest of this entry «

“Well, you must be there because you have such a love for the people.” I never know how to respond to that comment.

It’s usually after the complaintive statement about why the person thinks it would be so awful to live in our mission field (or outside of America in general). “But the weather’s so bad!”, “How do you deal with the lack of product choice?”, or “Why would you give up such good opportunities in the States?” are the most typical precursors.

A while back, we were invited to visit some fellow Americans in another part of this country during our vacation time. They are Christian, yet their primary reason for being in the country is secular work. We had asked about what there was to do as a tourist in their city, and the reply was interesting:

“Here’s a list of historical and religious sites in the area. We figured since you’re missionaries and you have such a love for these people, you must want to focus on those things during your vacation here.”

Uh, no, actually we were curious about regular tourist stuff and, while that could include a museum or church, we’re more the foodie type. And shopping. And entertainment. Or even walking the countryside. You know, being somewhat normal in modern society. When I let them know this (albeit in much less sarcastic tones), they sounded disappointed. We just wanted some time off and to have fun. It became clear that we weren’t living up to that “Missionary Superhero” stereotype. » Read the rest of this entry «