Missionary Confidential

Missionary? Not My Kid: When Your Parents Don’t Approve

One of the struggles I’ve faced being a missionary is the fact that my evangelical Christian parents don’t approve of my choice.  At all.  While their initial reaction was understandable, I thought and prayed that perhaps their stance would soften over time.  It has not.  In fact, year by year they have increasingly rejected most contact I’ve tried to make.  Conversations have become few and far between, and any mention I make of ministry here is met with stony silence and a quick topic change, so there’s not much to talk about after a few minutes.  I am no longer kept “in the loop” about even serious things, like my father’s recent surgery, until there was a complication afterward.  I’m very close to being disowned.

In no way am I making a sympathy grab here, just trying to explain that some parents take this very, very hard.

Because of this situation, every time I read in the Bible, “Honour your father and mother,” there’s a little pang of thought: Am I?  If you asked them, I believe they would immediately answer a resounding “No!”  However, after a lot of consideration of the situation, I have to respectfully disagree. Read More…

Tripping Through Cultures (or, When Cultures Collide)

Recently, a woman in my church sought counsel on a possible marriage.  On the surface, it sounded pretty standard-issue stuff: they’d met on an Internet dating site a couple of months ago and, both being young and impatient, wish to hurry things along and get married quickly.  The woman was concerned as she felt he was pressing things really quickly, including premarital intimacy.  I’m sure you already know what needed to be said considering Biblical standards, and it was.  However, when you bring their respective cultures into the picture, there’s more to the story.

She, being from Eastern Europe, was viewing this as a transaction.  After answering a few questions, it became clear that she had essentially the same attitude of a mail-order bride: I’m trying to escape bad living conditions.  There also seemed to be a bit of loneliness adding to the situation, plus a cultural attitude from her country that women at her age who were married with children were much more revered and respected than a single woman.

He, being from an African nation, was also viewing this as a transaction.  In my mission field, sham marriages to avoid deportation are not illegal, and he made it clear that he needed her help to stay here.  When she described some of his actions and reactions to her, a quick view of his country’s cultural norms on the (mis)treatment of women showed me that she had no idea what she might be getting into. Read More…

Working Without a Contract

As I recently listened to a sermon on the Parable of the Vineyard Labourers (Matthew 20:1-16) the focus was obviously on the aspect of some being rewarded unequally compared to the efforts of others.  However, it was in the middle of the sermon (and the passage) that I realised a parallel between the workers hired later and the fundraised missionary: working without knowing exactly what you will be paid.

If you notice, Jesus explains that the first set of workers had an agreed wage.  The second, third and fourth set of workers are told they will receive “whatever was right at the end of the day” in verse 4.  The fifth set of workers are told to join the others in the vineyard with no description of an agreed amount.  Essentially, they are working without a contract.  And so are we.

I’ve mentioned before some of the things we’ve learned about living on fundraised support (we’re also tentmakers for two-thirds of it, thanks to the unfavourable exchange rate and the ridiculous cost of living).  The biggest thing I’ve learned is that fundraised living is an extreme exercise of faith and probably one of the biggest reminders of our immediate dependence on God.

Here are a couple of concepts I see in the parable: Read More…

Am I Less of a Missionary?

Somedays I think that I don’t see missions like a lot of other people do.  Consider the following:

In an email update I received from one of our supporters, the writer mentioned that her current reading was all missionary biographies, so she quoted Hudson Taylor with the implication that I must also be familiar with it.  It was a nice quote.  I had not heard it before, nor have I read missionary biographies.
When meeting a Christian here in the field, she assumed that we grew up, like herself, hearing stories at bedtime of the noble and heroic Christian missionaries in the heart of Africa.  Surely this is what prompted our missionary call?  Surely not.
Through this blog, I was contacted by a man interested in becoming a missionary.  One of his questions was: “Where in the world would you like to share the Gospel where you haven’t been able to yet?”  It’s a good question, but I honestly drew a blank.  I’d never thought of that before.
On our initial fundraising tour, people meeting us afterwards usually opened their greeting with. “You were missionary kids, right?” or “Your parents were missionaries, of course?”  Without divulging personal details, quite the opposite is our reality.  Not only were our parents only somewhat involved in their local church during our respective childhoods, they are now infrequent attenders at best, and all hold deep disappointment at our choice to be full-time foreign missionaries.

My whole life I’ve never fit into the pigeonholes people have tried to place me.  It shouldn’t surprise me that I don’t fit the missionary stereotype, either, and on the surface seem like less of a missionary. Read More…

Doing Ministry at Arm’s Distance

Early in our fact-finding trips to our mission field, we kept getting the sense that the nationals held a bit of a reservation about working with us.  They were certainly friendly and accommodating, but their comments and facial expressions held a barely discernible air of skepticism.  We knew that their interactions with a large majority of American missionaries had gone very poorly for a number of reasons, so we figured they were understandably hesitant to interact with us.

Fast-forward to about six months into living in the mission field, and the real reason for their hesitancy began to crystalise in my mind.  We had been here long enough to watch several short-term mission teams funnel in and out of the church, plus there were several other long-term missionaries attached to help.  Watching the interactions from the sidelines, I began to see what the nationals saw: most missionaries would only do ministry at arm’s distance.

This is going beyond the unfortunate handful of those with bad attitudes; actually, the majority were polite, respectful, and generally good people who were willing to help and work in many ways.  Yet even in the group of good-natured, well-intentioned people, there still existed a trace element of distance from the nationals. Read More…