Sometimes I’m not sure that people who visit our congregation think through what they’re actually stating when they say some of the following to us:
“Your little group” (Usually with the superior tone reserved for cute, helpless things)
“Doesn’t it bother you how small your church attendance is?” (Am I supposed to be? Why is the questioner disappointed when I’m not?)
“Why would you live in such a cold, damp country?” (Because people outside of temperate climates need the Gospel, too)
“Don’t you miss being in regular church?” (I guess we have an irregular church?)
“Do your parents work or are they missionaries like you?” (Addressed this before)
..and the famous First Question About Our Ministry: “How many attend?” (Never, ever been asked how people are growing in the Lord or if they’ve been called into ministry service), followed by either, “But it’s all old people, right?” (It’s not, actually, but would it be awful if it was?) or, “But that’s only when you get a lot of out-of-town visitors?” (Implying that I’m not giving a realistic average but claiming a fluke attendance number).
I have to admit, a couple of the people who’ve made the respective statements realised how it came out—after I gave them an inadvertent look (I’ve always struggled to hide my surprise at awkward or shocking things). Most, however, seemed completely oblivious to the snobbery that seems to have pervaded Christian ministry today.
Though he’s still in his home country, Jared Wilson over at the Gospel-Driven Church blog encountered similar comments when he took up a pastorate at a rural church in Vermont. Told that the move to a very unchurched part of the States was going to kill his career, he also encountered similar derision about God’s calling on his ministry. But it was in July’s post, “Our Church Isn’t ‘Cute’” that he explained why such comments aren’t helpful:
“Our church is ‘cute.’ Because it’s small, old, traditional. ‘Cute’ is the backhanded compliment for those who’d never go to a ‘cute’ church, but want you to know they admire it and perhaps even those who aren’t privileged enough to go to a church ‘successful’ enough for a building that is big, impressive, full-service. You know, not cute, but rather ‘awesome.’”
It seems to be smug sympathy, code for, “My way is better than your way.” I think it all boils down to snobbery. Christian snobbery.
Why is “mine” better than “yours”? I think God’s Kingdom is large enough to hold diversity in both size and methodology. As long as the Christian essentials are there, I don’t see why we all have to look the same or worship the same. I’ve received quite a few unsolicited inquiries about my mission field that start with the line similar to this: “I’ve noticed that [your mission field] doesn’t seem to have any churches that are part of [my denomination]. I need your help because I think God wants me to start a [my denomination] church there.” Every time, the denomination has been one that would be well in the realm of Bible-believing, evangelical Christian, so it’s not the particular denomination I have a problem with. It’s the mind-set.
Don’t get me wrong; my field desperately needs devoted Christians from any of the denominational spectrum. But what this country needs are Christians who are willing to follow God’s lead, helping wherever and however that may look, ready to work across denominations, not busily planting a flag for their group. It seems like a type of colonialism, one that’s more interested in their group being represented than actually discipling and seeing lives changed.
There are small, existing churches that would greatly use the ministry support that a new missionary could provide to help them grow in training and raising up our national Christians. But many of these churches aren’t large, exciting or don’t fit into current “trend” models, so people would rather “start their own” version with which they’re more comfortable instead of helping where needed.
In the end, “mine” isn’t better than “yours” (or vice-versa), nor is our small church “cute”, either. Save the sympathy for someone else and let’s work together instead of building unnecessary division.
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Great article. The current Christian Snobbery where some Christians are more ‘Christian’ or ‘more equal’ than other Christians is disheartening. Some Christians set themselves apart from other Christians by their Christianese jargon, number of souls they brag about having brought to Christ, and high mannered questioning to others about whether or not they are ‘Christian’. Such behaviors make me want to avoid such pious ‘Christians’.