Don’t Assimilate Too Much?
Posted by C. Holland on Nov 07, 2008After being in the mission field a while, one of our mothers came to visit. She had never been to Europe before, so it was a chance to introduce her to the new things here that have become familiar to us. Because she is one of the few family members that are supportive of our ministry work, both when we were in the States and now as missionaries, her take on the experience was pretty positive.
Late in the visit as I made her a cup of tea, she was reflecting on all the lifestyle changes we’ve had to make in such a short time. “I noticed you seem to get along well with the people here,” she said. “You even use the words that they use.”
“Yeah,” I replied, “we’ve really studied their manners and customs, made sure to dress like they do. You know, ‘when in Rome’…”
“Well, that’s great,” she said, taking the cup of tea I offered her. “Just don’t assimilate TOO much.”
The comment caught me by surprise, and before I could address it, she quickly moved to an unrelated topic. It was obvious that she was uncomfortable at how different we had become and wanted to state as such but did not want to explain or discuss it any further.
Honestly, I’m not sure how much assimilation is “too much” assimilation. So many stories abound of former missionaries to our field that held their American ways so closely that it brought a wedge between them and the nationals. Some missionaries became constant commentators about how everything done here was wrong; the ways of the States were always superior, even if it wasn’t true. However, we were also told cautionary tales about one American missionary who, in an endeavour to reach an impoverished subgroup here, became so much like them that he lost all sense of morals and laws. I am suspicious that is a puffed-up legend.
I believe assimilation has got to be God-led and Holy Spirit-discerned. A lot of people have told us “be who you are,” but what if that is in direct cultural conflict with your mission field? In other words, some of my American traits are misinterpreted as extremely rude here, thus impeding my witness. I’m not talking about shifting morals or values, this falls more into the realm of different styles of clothing, mannerisms, vocabulary and food choices. I have to think that 1 Corinthians 9:19-22 has a bearing on this, and it remains a constant learning process.
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!Related posts:
Missionary Confidential by Email
I jest. Good one!
March 21st, 2010 at 1:20 pm
I really like Mayers and Lingenfelter’s (Ministering Cross-culturally) take on this dilemma. They talk about becoming a 150% person. Jesus was a 200% person – 100% human and 100% God, but we can’t be 100% part of two cultures. So we aim for maybe 75% of each. I think it’s realistic and humbling to acknowledge I can’t and don’t want to give up valuable parts of the cultural heritage I have. But some parts I’m more than happy to have abandoned!! I also want to valiantly endeavor to be accepted in my host culture and I love it when people describe me as an Ici woman (not too often YET), because I’ve said or done something correctly their way. I’m a long way from being 75% and maybe I’ll only ever reach 50%. But that doesn’t matter. The actual trying to see things from their worldview before judging it and encouraging local believers to examine what the Bible says to them in their own cultural context is what’s important, in my opinion. And thankfully through the whole cross-cultural experience, I get prodded to do the same, whereas had I stayed in my culture of origin, I would never have questioned some things. Praise be to God who allows us to stretch like this. An anthro teacher of ours used to say: “God sends some people to other countries to learn what he couldn’t teach them at home.”
March 22nd, 2010 at 5:36 am
@Kathy: I love that quote! It’s definitely true in my life.
April 7th, 2010 at 4:45 pm
hopefully she only meant not to do everything they do. Our mission board talks a bit about this issue with a reminder that (of course) we shouldn’t stoop to sin just to fit in. If everyone in the culture we’re heading to smokes, my husband and I are going to be more willing to stand outside in the smoke in order to have a conversation, but we aren’t going to offer someone a cigarette in order to have a conversation.
Rosalie´s last blog ..Creating this Site
April 8th, 2010 at 6:30 am
@Rosalie: Because of attitudes and conversations since I wrote this, she meant “don’t stop acting American.” But in our mission field, that’s tough because the culture requires you to talk softly, especially in public, and to not be boastful or ask personal questions. We don’t deny our heritage, but as I wrote in the Just Be Yourself Paradox http://www.missionaryconfidential.com/the-just-be-yourself-paradox there’s a point you have to change to be heard. Of course, not to follow sinful ways, but just the simple act of talking softly in front of our American friends has confused them.