Comments on: I’m Not There: Why the Missionary Can’t Have It Both Ways http://www.missionaryconfidential.com/i%e2%80%99m-not-there-why-the-missionary-can%e2%80%99t-have-it-both-ways Life at the Intersection of Culture and Christianity Wed, 21 Jul 2010 15:40:37 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 By: C. Holland http://www.missionaryconfidential.com/i%e2%80%99m-not-there-why-the-missionary-can%e2%80%99t-have-it-both-ways/comment-page-1#comment-6222 C. Holland Tue, 01 Jun 2010 15:34:46 +0000 http://www.missionaryconfidential.com/?p=422#comment-6222 @Gene: I agree. The people I witnessed seemed to be trying in vain to keep up friendships as if they were still there, a kind of "have my cake and eat it, too". I think people mistake Social Networking as Social Friendship/Relationship when, in this scenario, it's really more like Social PR. @Gene: I agree. The people I witnessed seemed to be trying in vain to keep up friendships as if they were still there, a kind of “have my cake and eat it, too”. I think people mistake Social Networking as Social Friendship/Relationship when, in this scenario, it’s really more like Social PR.

]]> By: Gene Daniels http://www.missionaryconfidential.com/i%e2%80%99m-not-there-why-the-missionary-can%e2%80%99t-have-it-both-ways/comment-page-1#comment-6203 Gene Daniels Mon, 31 May 2010 13:56:49 +0000 http://www.missionaryconfidential.com/?p=422#comment-6203 My family has been on the field for more than 12 years now, and my wife and I have talked about this several times. Many missionaries seem driven to stay connected to a degree that demonstrates either fear of being forgotten by people at home (financial support base) or a new culture avoidance pattern. Either way, this can be very unhealthy. Perhaps we need to include the amount of time we spend on social networking with people at home in the conversations we have with accountablity partners. This would help us gain an objective perspective from someone we know and trust. My family has been on the field for more than 12 years now, and my wife and I have talked about this several times.

Many missionaries seem driven to stay connected to a degree that demonstrates either fear of being forgotten by people at home (financial support base) or a new culture avoidance pattern.

Either way, this can be very unhealthy. Perhaps we need to include the amount of time we spend on social networking with people at home in the conversations we have with accountablity partners.

This would help us gain an objective perspective from someone we know and trust.

]]> By: C. Holland http://www.missionaryconfidential.com/i%e2%80%99m-not-there-why-the-missionary-can%e2%80%99t-have-it-both-ways/comment-page-1#comment-3801 C. Holland Sat, 10 Oct 2009 21:28:09 +0000 http://www.missionaryconfidential.com/?p=422#comment-3801 @Naomi: It's a tough balance, because I'd never encourage someone to cut off ties completely, yet today's communication makes it too easy to feel like you're keeping up with those back home. It's something each person might have to decide on limits to keep it in check. @Naomi: It’s a tough balance, because I’d never encourage someone to cut off ties completely, yet today’s communication makes it too easy to feel like you’re keeping up with those back home. It’s something each person might have to decide on limits to keep it in check.

]]> By: Naomi Bogosian http://www.missionaryconfidential.com/i%e2%80%99m-not-there-why-the-missionary-can%e2%80%99t-have-it-both-ways/comment-page-1#comment-3791 Naomi Bogosian Fri, 09 Oct 2009 07:34:23 +0000 http://www.missionaryconfidential.com/?p=422#comment-3791 Wow, very intriguing. I actually never thought of communication in this light. As a long-term (life) missionary myself currently stationed in the Philippines, I find your words all too true. The fact that short term missions has become a very acceptable trend, i think, plays into the whole communication theory as well. People are too connected with their home town/country and consequently they become more and more unwilling to endure the hardship of being separated from them as they are constantly reminded of (bombarded with)their old life and old relationships which communication won't let them be weened of. Communication, something which seems like such a blessing is also a very subtle and yet a very real and damaging temptation for inexperienced, uncommitted missionaries. very good insight. Wow, very intriguing. I actually never thought of communication in this light. As a long-term (life) missionary myself currently stationed in the Philippines, I find your words all too true. The fact that short term missions has become a very acceptable trend, i think, plays into the whole communication theory as well. People are too connected with their home town/country and consequently they become more and more unwilling to endure the hardship of being separated from them as they are constantly reminded of (bombarded with)their old life and old relationships which communication won’t let them be weened of. Communication, something which seems like such a blessing is also a very subtle and yet a very real and damaging temptation for inexperienced, uncommitted missionaries. very good insight.

]]> By: C. Holland http://www.missionaryconfidential.com/i%e2%80%99m-not-there-why-the-missionary-can%e2%80%99t-have-it-both-ways/comment-page-1#comment-3361 C. Holland Fri, 14 Aug 2009 15:26:48 +0000 http://www.missionaryconfidential.com/?p=422#comment-3361 @Debtor Paul: Communication can be a great thing--in moderation. Many of the missionaries I referenced did not appear to realise the imbalance was making it harder to commit to where they were. It's just something to be aware of. @Justin: Good thoughts. Because some of these communication tools are newer, I wonder if mission agencies address these issues when training new missionaries. @Debtor Paul: Communication can be a great thing–in moderation. Many of the missionaries I referenced did not appear to realise the imbalance was making it harder to commit to where they were. It’s just something to be aware of.

@Justin: Good thoughts. Because some of these communication tools are newer, I wonder if mission agencies address these issues when training new missionaries.

]]> By: Justin Long http://www.missionaryconfidential.com/i%e2%80%99m-not-there-why-the-missionary-can%e2%80%99t-have-it-both-ways/comment-page-1#comment-3209 Justin Long Wed, 05 Aug 2009 19:59:19 +0000 http://www.missionaryconfidential.com/?p=422#comment-3209 It was a huge challenge to us when we were on the field. One way to balance it was to say there is work time, there is home time, there is sleep time. Home communications were done during home time, but even that had to be balanced, because some of home time was spent in local friendships too. If you find it seriously challenging, then I would suggest considering setting hard % limits in order to discipline yourself. It was a huge challenge to us when we were on the field. One way to balance it was to say there is work time, there is home time, there is sleep time. Home communications were done during home time, but even that had to be balanced, because some of home time was spent in local friendships too. If you find it seriously challenging, then I would suggest considering setting hard % limits in order to discipline yourself.

]]> By: Debtor Paul http://www.missionaryconfidential.com/i%e2%80%99m-not-there-why-the-missionary-can%e2%80%99t-have-it-both-ways/comment-page-1#comment-3172 Debtor Paul Tue, 04 Aug 2009 14:46:15 +0000 http://www.missionaryconfidential.com/?p=422#comment-3172 Thank you for the post. I am preparing now for the field, and I am intensely interested in communication capabilities. Not only have I realized that I can be too connected when I am home (facebook, IM, Skype, etc.), but I have realized that this could be a big problem on the field. I appreciate your insight here. Thank you for the post. I am preparing now for the field, and I am intensely interested in communication capabilities. Not only have I realized that I can be too connected when I am home (facebook, IM, Skype, etc.), but I have realized that this could be a big problem on the field. I appreciate your insight here.

]]> By: C. Holland http://www.missionaryconfidential.com/i%e2%80%99m-not-there-why-the-missionary-can%e2%80%99t-have-it-both-ways/comment-page-1#comment-3095 C. Holland Fri, 31 Jul 2009 09:35:11 +0000 http://www.missionaryconfidential.com/?p=422#comment-3095 @Grady: It is a balance and a struggle, which is why I let my other half deal with the Facebook account! @Grady: It is a balance and a struggle, which is why I let my other half deal with the Facebook account!

]]> By: Grady Bauer http://www.missionaryconfidential.com/i%e2%80%99m-not-there-why-the-missionary-can%e2%80%99t-have-it-both-ways/comment-page-1#comment-3083 Grady Bauer Thu, 30 Jul 2009 13:26:24 +0000 http://www.missionaryconfidential.com/?p=422#comment-3083 Thanks for reminding us of this struggle. Many walk away from US relationships and contact 100% and then wonder why no one cares when they return to the US. The opposite is living on my internet doing stupid Facebook quizzes.....the right space is somewhere in the middle. Thanks for the reminder, now back to my Facebook quizzes! Thanks for reminding us of this struggle. Many walk away from US relationships and contact 100% and then wonder why no one cares when they return to the US. The opposite is living on my internet doing stupid Facebook quizzes…..the right space is somewhere in the middle. Thanks for the reminder, now back to my Facebook quizzes!

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