In the Culture of Now
Posted by C. Holland on Jan 13, 2010The turn of the new year always gives us pause for reflection on the past and contemplation of the future, so the start of 2010 appears to be no different. As I remember lessons learned over the past few years as a missionary, one theme keeps recurring: we are shaped by the environment in which we find ourselves, no matter how much we may resist. And I have been very much influenced by my mission field’s culture which is an “in the moment” people group, something I like to call “The Culture of Now”.
Of course, the title is not indicative of a culture of wanting things or change to happen immediately (i.e., “I want it now”) but of a state of being in the moment, relishing the experience and not focussed solely on the future. In an earlier cross-cultural course I had learned of the differences in such cultures, and I am grateful to have understood the technical differences before entering the mission field.
It was actually the change of decade that prompted me to take note of my personal attitude shift. Reflecting on where I was (physically, spiritually, and emotionally) as 1999 slipped into 2000, I started to realise that I had been a much more agitated individual. Always focussing on the next task, job, location, or goal, I wasn’t actually interacting in the moment. Time with people, though often a pleasant thing, was seen as an obstacle to progress; because it was a necessity to interact with others, I felt at the time that it must be kept to a minimum. While I would be present at an activity or function, mentally I was worlds away, going over tasks in my head or thinking constantly about what sequence of events needed to happen once I got out of the situation.
As I thought about how I enter a conversation now, I realised that my conversations of the past often centred on what accomplishments I planned for the near future, always networking and looking for that “next thing” that I could hitch my wagon to a star. Essentially, The Present Situation was something to constantly aspire to get out of, and on to the next moment. From my experience and recollection, it is a tiring way to live because it means there is no defined end in sight.
We had been well informed about our mission field’s cultural attitude, so we didn’t experience a huge shock when we arrived. Things take longer, people move slower, and it’s just the way that it is here. Our friend’s statement, “You’ll have loads of things to do, but if you get only one thing accomplished in a day, that’s considered amazing”, rang true and still does to this day. But moving this information from knowledge to personal practice took much, much longer than we had anticipated.
Part of the reason it’s been so difficult is the fact that we still interact with our original culture, from funding supporters and churches to family members. Firm plans and grand expectation of results are required from the American culture, sometimes even 5-10 years from now. I’ll never forget a woman coming up to me after our fundraising presentation, where we had mentioned a minimum five-year commitment to this field. “What will you do at the end of five years?” she queried. Taken aback, I mumbled something about we’d see what God laid on our hearts at that time. “Would you return to America?” she pressed. “Five years is so far away,” I said, “but if God wanted us to return at that time, we would.”
Her eyes lit up. “Where will you live then?” At this point I wasn’t sure where she was going with this or what I was supposed to say. I mean, I’m putting all my energy into going on mission in a foreign country for a very extended (and open-ended) period of time; does anyone really know with certainty exactly what they will be doing in five years’ time? “Um, I’m sure God will let us know where at that time,” I hastily replied, looking for anyone else to talk to. She kept on with, “What will you do for work? These are important things you have to plan for now!” Yeah, I’ll just secure a job somewhere that they’re willing to wait five years (or longer) for me to return, though I’m not sure where that would be. And, while I’m busy doing that, I’ll lock in a lease on some house that I won’t live in for at least five years, too.
I never got to say what I was thinking, which was, “Lady, would you just let me deal with the experience I’m in now before having to make firm decisions about the future? I’m sure I’ll be a different person by then, and God doesn’t always share His plans for us that far into the future.” Meanwhile, I’m not even five years into the mission, and I’m already dramatically different in my views and practise.
I fear that this monumental difference from the States’ forward-thinking/progress-focussed/instant gratification mindset is part of what makes it so difficult for American missionaries to stay long-term, but as I’ve changed I notice some unexpected benefits:
- My expectations about virtually everything have come down to earth and become more realistic. Don’t read the last line as “I’m now pessimistic and don’t expect miracles”; God is still a God of wonder, possibilities and miracles to me. It’s just that my timeline has readjusted to real time instead of this hyper-accelerated “we can get this done faster, better, easier than ever!”-mode that I found myself constantly viewing every aspect of my life, all the way to the mundane.
- There has been a considerable release from guilt or regret when I view a “To Do” list that is still populated after a decent amount of time. Progress does happen here, both in the Christian and secular circles, but you’ve got to be awful patient about it.
- No longer do I feel edgy or irritated when at a social function. I’m there to interact and enjoy the time, not resent people for keeping me from something I’m not even scheduled to do at that moment.
- Time doesn’t have to be constantly filled with sound or action or interaction every second of a situation. That’s taken me very long to absorb, especially when the people here are very comfortable with long pauses in conversation. Just “being” in a moment is acceptable without the pressures of production or action.
The only problems I see are two: 1) this way of life, if left unchecked, can lead to serious laziness; and 2) our Stateside supporters may struggle with a perception that we’re not doing enough or getting satisfactory results, though we’ve done our best to communicate the cultural (and spiritual) differences in ministry here. Meanwhile, even in our “slowed-down” state, the nationals think we are a whirl of activity, going too fast and accomplishing things by leaps and bounds.
I fall back into my old habits every once in a while, and the discomfort I feel through it snaps me out of that future-thinking angst pretty quickly. Entering the new decade gives me hope that I can better appreciate the present and enjoy the now.
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!Related posts:
- The “Just Be Yourself” Paradox
You Said What?! The Importance of Context in Culture
Reverse Culture Shock, Kid-Style
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January 13th, 2010 at 12:13 pm
Thanks for the reminder. It’s so easy in this American culture to forget about the now because we’re looking to the future. I long to return to a slower, simpler pace of life that isn’t caught up in always progressing, always planning, and always preparing for the next big thing. I think I’ll write my wife a note now to let her know I’m thinking of her.
kevin´s last blog ..Mission Minded Families
January 14th, 2010 at 12:30 am
Excellent points… another way of communicating the difference between time orientated people and event oriented people. Since we serve in the US, but among the Native Americans, we identify with you, only we sense the differences on a daily basis as the two worlds collide almost daily. The “now culture” of the elders – in contrast to a trip to town (30 min away) and having to have everything ready to be “processed” as I check out at Walmart in a hurry… Also – what we find is interesting – is that as we’ve become much more event oriented (which is, as a general rule, like the more traditional Native people), the people with whom we serve are an interesting mix of event and time orientations… what I’m trying to say is that we’re sometimes in a slower pace of life than the Native Americans with whom we serve beside…
Add to this the interesting mix of my husband serving in administration – with a mix of the two cultures in those meetings as well as on the mission board…
January 18th, 2010 at 10:00 am
Good reminder for a futurist that prefers the future over the now. Thanks!
January 18th, 2010 at 3:37 pm
@Kevin: I find that I generally prefer this pace of life over my previous lifestyle, though sometimes I still get impatient.
@Roxie: Good insights. I never considered the shift within the US as in your situation. Must get frustrating at times!
@Grady: I used to be a futurist, but I find it is slowly fading away.
January 20th, 2010 at 12:49 pm
I really do long for a slower, and simpler pace of life. In Taiwan everything moves at the speed of light and I had thought things moved pretty fast in the US until I came to Asia. Things move really FAST here.