Comments on: Pulling Your Hand Out of a Bucket

By: C. Holland

C. Holland — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 06:53:37 +0000

@Tai: That’s a good observation, and most times I find I have to break that ice. But most all tend to respond positively when I do.

By: Tai Fu

Tai Fu — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 03:15:43 +0000

I find that if you are persistent and consistent in communication most Europeans are actually quite friendly and understanding. Most Europeans I have seen doesn’t take initiatives in relationships but once you break the ice they become very friendly.

By: Kevin

Kevin — Sat, 05 Sep 2009 17:09:43 +0000

I agree completely. It’s the same old story, the few idiots ruin it for the rest of us. Despite the pain (we shouldn’t expect any less) we’re planning on returning to Europe, albeit a different country next year. Some of the changes came from citizenship issues being ironed out, some of it came from healing and maturity on our part. We’re now working within a very healthy European planting movement and are hopeful that things will turn out different this time around. We’re like you in that our horizon and desire have always been long-term which is why the pain was so acute when leaving the first time. Thanks for the follow up.

By: C. Holland

C. Holland — Sat, 05 Sep 2009 14:57:02 +0000

Hi Kevin, your reasons for leaving are precisely why I included the line “had understandable reasons…and even communicated appropriately their absence”. I’m very sorry that your experience was so difficult, and I don’t doubt your struggle for a second. Some of the missionaries I know went through much of what you described.

My issue is with the callous or flip attitude that the other “leavers” have, especially their rudeness in leaving and refusal to communicate once back in the States. Because there are so many of these, once you add the normal attrition, the number is so large that it leaves a bad impression that makes it difficult for those left in the field, or even new missionaries, to overcome.

A certain amount of attrition is to be expected in any field, and I accept that. In fact, when missionaries have been transparent about why/when they’re leaving, I’ve found the nationals are very compassionate and understanding. Several nationals have told me that they could not handle the reverse (leaving here to plant a church in America) and understand the strain and difficulty involved in ministering to a foreign culture.

And who knows, the way immigration issues are for us, we could always be kicked out despite our desire to stay. People are going to leave for various reasons; I just wish they’d handle it in a more mature and Christian attitude.

By: Kevin

Kevin — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 02:37:22 +0000

BTW C, I really liked the illustration of pulling your hand from a bucket. Very apt description of what happens when a good missionary has to leave the mission field.

By: Kevin

Kevin — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 02:30:06 +0000

First off I would like to say that I’m sorry for some of the hurt that you’ve sustained due to people leaving. We are “those who left” a difficult mission field after 3 years of ministry. We still count some of our friends there as some of our closest and miss them dearly. However, as “leavers” I have to say that some of your comments (while valid) don’t take into account all the reasons. Our reasons for leaving weren’t listed here in this article at all. We had European citizenship issues that lead to severe depression, unhealthy team dynamics (from nationals, not Americans), pressures from a rising cost of living, suicides and marriage breakups of close friends, and only one of us able to work. Our struggle (and it was a painful, agonizing struggle) with leaving lasted over 6 months as we debated, prayed, and sought counsel back and forth over wether to leave. I would submit, that while your experiences and challenges are valid they are not the sum total of every reason. Some of us have left because not doing so would have destroyed our families, our marriages, and our souls.

All in all, an interesting post. I just wanted to submit a counter-point to it. Cheers!