The Double Life of The Missionary
Posted by C. Holland on Feb 10, 2009Now that we’ve lived in Western Europe for several years without returning to the States (at all), we’ve found that some things once foreign to us have become second nature. In short, we’ve adapted. Not completely, sometimes intentionally, but there have been changes. So much so that we even compiled a list of lifestyle and vocabulary changes that are normal to us now, plus a list of things that still seem unusual to us. It was amusing to review, but it also hammered home another fact: we live a double life.
Of course, that sounds scandalous at first, but it’s not tawdry or salacious. It’s not even being dishonest. Because of our origins and the fact that our financial support comes from the States, we will always have “a foot in the States” despite our best intentions to assimilate to our new life here.
While we’re paid in dollars, it’s in our best interest to be aware of the exchange rate. We must keep a perfunctory understanding of current events back in the US (such as the economy or presidential transition) so we can relate to our supporters and family. When we speak to friends or family, our use of different words in conversation sometimes confuses or frustrates them. We try to accommodate as best we can, but it gets increasingly difficult to remember which was the original word used Stateside. And I’m told (through those reading our missionary newsletters) that my writing style has completely changed.
Even conveying our mission work can sometimes be difficult. It’s slow going here, and not a lot of Americans understand why we don’t have a church of 300 new converts; meanwhile our church of 30 is considered normal-sized for our part of Europe. We are honestly faithful to the resources and time that God has given us here, but we still struggle with people’s misperception (both Americans and in our mission field) that we have nothing to do all week until Sunday at 11:00 a.m. Of course, I know pastors in the States that struggle with that misunderstanding, too, so I suppose that’s not too unusual for any ministry.
To most Christians in the States, we are admirable heroes who are valiantly spreading the Gospel (their words, not ours; that perception makes us terribly uncomfortable but that they think this way is fact). To indigenous Christians here in our mission field, it is assumed that we are like all the rest that have come and gone before us: useless, lazy, stubborn and ready to leave quickly. It’s not an unfair assumption in light of history, but the longer we’re here the less they feel that way about us. To non-Christians in our mission field, we are foreigners with a pushy, perhaps uniquely American, agenda. It is safe to say that all three groups, though justified in their generalisations, are very mistaken about us in particular. We do not take it personally.
Navigating the nuances of two similar but definitely not identical cultures eventually makes you want to pick one or the other and adapt to it. Moving between the two does get very, very old, and I suspect in the end that we all as missionaries have to make the choice between one or the other.
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!Related posts:
- The “Just Be Yourself” Paradox
The Missionary’s Dilemma, or Let the Dead Bury the Dead
You Said What?! The Importance of Context in Culture
Missionary Confidential by Email
February 11th, 2009 at 10:45 am
This is one of the most refreshing missionary blogs I have yet to encounter. (just wanted you to know that)
We’ve lived outside the U.S. since ‘03 and the longest we’re been out of the country is a year and a half. It’s amazing how “foreign” your own country can become. Things move on – fashions, lingo (the latest “lingo” thing I’ve noticed is the “man up” saying which *I think* means to take responsibility for one’s own actions…?), etc. My kids somewhat stay in touch with their U.S. friends via facebook but they are Third Culture Kids and so don’t completely relate.
We’ve also been put on a pedestal by well-meaning people back home and, though a bit flattering, it really makes me uncomfortable and I wish they’d just treat me as a normal person. But, then again, as compared to them, in their safe comfortable suburban middle class lives, I’m NOT normal (or at least the lifestyle I lead isn’t).
The missionary life is truly surreal. Maybe that’s the best way to put it…
February 11th, 2009 at 11:18 am
Thanks, Greg. This is what the blog is about: honest discussion amongst various missionaries (and those interested in missions). And yes, it is surreal.
March 13th, 2009 at 10:42 am
This is really interesting, we in some ways are dealing with the opposite problem of going from the UK to an US-based missions organisation where alot of the vocab for the missions organisation is cliche and ingenuine to those here in the UK.
March 13th, 2009 at 1:01 pm
@Liam, I’m not surprised that you find the wording that way. So very much in American Christianity today is just that: cliche and ingenuine–and I’m an American that feels that way about my own! Just because we share a similar language doesn’t make the cultural differences any easier, and Christians need to recognise this if they are to work with others throughout the globe. Very good point.
March 16th, 2009 at 9:29 am
Indeed the cultural differences between Brits & Americans are massive. We had some British missionary friends in Nicaragua whom all the other American missionaries considered rude and arrogant. However, they really weren’t that way – they were just being Bwitish! I found that many Brits have very dry senses of humor and some Americans misinterpret this as arrogance.
Liam: I pray for much patience for you. Please forgive us Americans for our incredible capacity for shallowness.
March 16th, 2009 at 10:04 am
Greg, Thanks for your comment. I can imagine the strained relations you mentioned in Nicaragua. I appreciate your prayers. Liam
July 17th, 2009 at 11:33 am
What a refreshing blog post. I just stumbled across this site and love what I’m reading. My wife and I are career missionaries preparing to leave for a new field and new dreams. Our previous locale was difficult because of team dynamics so after a few years away we’ve worked to correct the problems that hindered us last time for a fresh, new experience in Portugal. Thanks again and I look forward to reading more.
July 17th, 2009 at 5:09 pm
@Kevin: Welcome to the blog, and thanks. God bless you as you prepare for your new field.
September 4th, 2009 at 9:37 pm
Hey,
Really enjoy your blog. Where are you guys in Europe? We are in Carlisle, England with OM.
Tim
September 5th, 2009 at 9:20 am
@Tim: Thanks, and welcome to the blog. I’m afraid I can’t reveal our location for security reasons. Besides, it wouldn’t be so confidential if I did!
October 1st, 2009 at 5:03 am
Thanks for this post- living between double cultures does get cloudy as ‘double’ lives, and I think I and my husband are trying to distinguish between the two. I appreciate your thoughtful conclusion:
“Navigating the nuances of two similar but definitely not identical cultures eventually makes you want to pick one or the other and adapt to it. Moving between the two does get very, very old, and I suspect in the end that we all as missionaries have to make the choice between one or the other.”
Sending encouragement for your choices,
JL
JL´s last blog ..Everyday Justice … even choosing your chocolates?
October 7th, 2009 at 11:19 am
@JL: God Bless!