Over at Missional Space, a recent post about William Carey and family difficulties in the mission field drew a good amount of debate. While most people discussed the appropriateness of his decision to remain in the field, I picked up on another aspect of this: the post stated that most biographies omit these disappointing details.
I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not very familiar with Carey’s story, so I’m not making a specific judgment call on him. But it is disconcerting to see that such an important detail of a person’s life would be ignored. Without being able to query a specific biographer, it’s difficult not to see the omission as a whitewash to paint missions and ministry life in the best possible light.
One of the commenters mentioned that the Bible includes the “warts and all” parts of quite a few stories, and I certainly agree. Life is messy, difficult, and uncomfortable at times. Some of our heroes of the Bible were adulterers, struggled with faith and/or obedience to God, had dysfunctional families—essentially, they were imperfect humans (just like us) whom God still chose to love and use anyway.
Missionary work has its “warts” as well, and for me, writing this blog is constantly looking at the fine line between honesty and whining. I don’t want it to be brutal in the former, nor focusing on the latter. What motivates me to write is the reality that such a glossy PR spin has been placed on missions work. Watching missionaries in the field slowly realise that this life is nothing like the brochure, so to speak, is very painful. Yet I write because I want prospective missionaries to have a fuller understanding of all the facets of missionary life so they can be better equipped for the mission ahead of them.
I’m assuming that biographers endeavour to write about missionaries like Carey because people are interested in his entire story. By leaving out known difficulties that he encountered, it serves to further the notion of missionary as a romanticised superhero. It also keeps a missionary from identifying with or learning from a similar problem that missionaries like Carey may have already encountered.
Honesty can hurt sometimes, even when it’s meant in the best possible way, and we always need to be discerning about the appropriate situation to reveal issues. I recently visited a church website where the lead pastor’s bio was about 10 paragraphs long, giving great detail about his physically abusive childhood, including vulgar quotes and other things that were just a bit too personal for a “meet our pastor”-type webpage. The shocking story in its entirety, which is a testimony to others about God’s protection, would have been more appropriate either in a group therapy session or on a website devoted to those recovering from abuse. I believe the current cultural attitude of public confession, such as on talk shows or through social media, may be contributing to this lack of discernment.
But acting like everything is perfect to the point of omitting facts in a factual publication is still destructive. If we can’t be measuredly honest in appropriate times and ways about difficulties we face as Christians, in the foreign mission field or not, we’re whitewashing the fact that the Christian life calls for sacrifice. There will sometimes be fallout, risk, or loss when choosing to take up that cross. We’re missing the opportunity to demonstrate that, in our imperfect state, we can choose to cling to God and find comfort and strength through a difficult time.
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This is the interesting thing about blogging. Sometimes we share more than we should (I do too). However, I think transparency is good, at least to a certain degree. There will, most likely, be things that I will never blog about, and that is good for my audience.
I was involved in the debate you mention, and it is a shame to hear about Carey’s problems. I’m still grateful for what he did for missions.
.-= Dan Smith´s last blog ..The problems behind divorce =-.
I don’t have anything to add to what you said C, except to say that this might be one of your finest posts yet. Well done.
.-= Kevin´s last blog ..Scoping Your Mission: The Importance of Food =-.
I had never thought about the whole talk show thing creating the public confession culture, but you are so right! It has taken me years on the mission field to stop confessing all my sins, my bad moods, my past, my struggles. It just is incomprehensible to do such a thing here… I have learned PRUDENCE, and when Americans come and visit us on a short-term trip I am often shocked by how quickly they tell me intimate details of their lives and confess things to me. I think it boils down to being sensitive and led by the Holy Spirit when we share such things, and we share them to help someone, not to be open books to all.
Thank you all.
I do wonder though, I have a tendency to reveal the nasty details on things and I often do it with the intention to be as honest as possible, but oftentimes people say that I am too negative. How do I balance the fine line between pessimism and honesty? I often see the road as a missionary as a very rough road with few benefits, but it is a road that leads to intimacy with God and it’s a road that is not a dead end. In that sense it’s the only benefit I need.
.-= Tai Fu´s last blog ..Ministry update =-.
@Tai Fu: That balance is the “fine line between honesty and whining” that I speak of. The balance is frustrating. I’ve so often gotten it wrong that it forces me to rely on the discernment of the Holy Spirit and to pause/reflect before I say something. And I still fail, though I’m slowly getting better.
Our stories as missionaries should be just that: the benefit is intimacy with God, the call is from Christ, but it is usually a rough road to get there.
Thanks for this post. As a sinning missionary I often feel the folks back home don’t really have a balanced understanding of our lives overseas. They ca’t relate because they think we’re the ones who’ve got it all figured out. That we stopped sinning long ago and are living righteously on the field every minute of every day. If my own life could be a testimony, it would maybe make us a little more human and our task maybe a little less foreign. I hope if they ever write about me that they include it all–the good, the bad, and the ugly.
@Alan: “make us a little more human and our task maybe a little less foreign” I couldn’t agree more!