When Cross-Cultural Prayers Turn Inappropriate
Posted by C. Holland on Oct 15, 2008We recently had an older Christian friend from another country stay with us, and the time was enjoyable, except when he prayed for grace at meals. It seemed that he was using the audible prayers as a way to get in a complaint or dig, typically pointed at us.
The first time was at a large lunch at a friend’s house, who had invited several others to the meal. Our guest, a new acquaintance to all at the table, was asked to return thanks. Being an older individual, he began to pray a long, flowery prayer, complete with “Thee” and “Thou,” which is fine. I’m sure it’s what he was exposed to growing up. But as the prayer went on for a few minutes (and sounded like he was finishing up) our guest began this section (which I paraphrase):
“And Lord, we pray now for all the children who will die this day from starvation. They will lose their lives because they did not have enough to eat. We pray for all the families today who will have to bury these children who were so very hungry. And here we sit, with so much to eat in front of us. Thank you, Lord, that we are not them.”
I was stunned, quite frankly, as it seemed that 1) it just wasn’t the time to bring up such things, and 2) our guest had just been introduced to the group briefly before the prayer took place. He was technically correct; I’m sure that there were both children and adults that were dying that day (and today) from the preventable cause of starvation. And if he felt this was a pressing matter, by all means let’s discuss it in depth and pray, but is sitting in front of a huge amount of food in a stranger’s kitchen the best time to bring it up?
We figured it might be a fluke, that perhaps he was trying to demonstrate compassion or concern, so we didn’t address it. Luckily, the hosts seemed to continue on and the rest of the day went great.
But by the next day, we were serving him breakfast at our place. When he volunteered to return thanks, a new issue popped up amidst the typical prayer:
“And Lord, thank you for the food in front of us. Though it’s not much, we thank Thee for it.”
Hmm. Mind you, it wasn’t a large, egg and bacon etc. breakfast, but by most people’s accounts it was adequate. After a few minutes into the breakfast, I offered some more food, but he rejected it. During the visit he’d said that he had tired of all the full breakfasts provided at the B & Bs he stayed at, plus he mentioned that he usually didn’t eat much during the course of the day. At later meals he refused additional helpings of food as well.
I don’t know what to make of it all. The Bible says there is a time and place for everything, so I just don’t think it was the right time for either of these statements which seemed to be passive-aggressiveness veiled in prayer. It could be attributed to the age of our guest (very firmly in the Senior Citizen “I don’t care what people think anymore, I’m just stating my mind” category) or even his culture (not Western European and definitely a blunt, say what you think culture). Or it could just simply be who he is. Whatever the cause, it’s best he’s on his way to other travels.
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I jest. Good one!