When Missionaries Leave on Bad Terms
Posted by C. Holland on Oct 21, 2008When we first began plans for our current ministry in Western Europe, we queried many existing Christians here. They were quick to let us know that most American missionaries last no more than 18 months in this field (even with a prior commitment to stay longer) and had much difficulty in the time that they were here. We didn’t disbelieve them, but, boy, were they right.
In the couple of years we’ve been in the field now, most all of the missionaries we’ve met and interacted with have returned to their respective homeland (one was from the Southern Hemisphere) before their committed time was up. Three more are on the cusp as I write this, and the safe bet will be that they leave, too. None were due to circumstances beyond their control (death of a family member, loss of income, failing health). I have no idea what the norm is for other missionaries in other fields.
But what confuses me is, upon leaving, their acute hatred for this mission field. Of those who have left (even when they stayed the duration of their commitment) I would say 95% leave on incredibly bad terms. We’ve encountered their foul attitudes towards those around them, leaving in a hurried state without proper notice out of courtesy and Christian love, and even the surprising amount who, once back in the States, refuse to continue communication with anyone over here. I would expect it of a few due to personality quirks, but they all seem to act this way.
I know I’m generalising, but for this mission field I posit several reasons why this is happening with such frequency to some very diverse personalities:
- Wrong Perception
Because this is Western Europe, missionaries seem to think this might be an easier venue in which to do mission ministry. First-world accommodations and continuing to speak English with white people appears to lull missionaries into thinking that it’s like doing ministry “like we do at home.” In some ways it is, but in a lot of ways it isn’t—and that’s where the problem lies. Even though the nationals here look and act a lot like us, they carry completely different baggage and history. Plus the European lifestyle is much slower and a lot more informal (read: less corporate and more relational) than I think most Americans can handle. - Wrong Heart
This can go two ways, the Self-Important Zealot or the Time Waster. Self-Important Zealot always arrives on their first day in the field saying things like, “God has brought ME to lead my brothers and sisters of this nation to Him!” or “I know so many have failed in the past, but I got a vision DIRECTLY from God that He will bring revival through ME! THIS is the YEAR!” They will be cowering in a corner a couple of weeks later, soon to disappear. Time Waster is the young adult who doesn’t want to get a real job (or maybe continue their higher education) in the States, so they take the “admirable” mission commitment of 1-2 years here. While this sounds like a good thing, the problem lies in the original issue: they didn’t want to work or study. This attitude rarely changes when they get here, so they spend their time moping on the computer, iPod clamped to their head, avoiding work or interaction with anyone—except their Stateside online friends. - Wrong Motivation
Anyone who has spent time in an American church knows the exalted status of the Missionary. Pastors wax poetical about them, old ladies get dewy eyed about them, and anyone expressing interest in becoming a missionary gets major attention. I’m not saying the opposite should be true; let’s support missions. And missionary work is difficult in any location. However, people don’t seem to have the same response to a pastor uprooting his family to move across his native country and serve in or start a new church. Moving to different parts of the States can be just as culturally different, and many church leaders make difficult sacrifices every day; why is the sacrifice of the Missionary any different than any other church leader, or any other self-sacrificing Christian, for that matter?
A sub-point to motivation would be Resumé Padding. Those in the ministry know that two or more years in foreign mission service is resume gold for the next pastoral job or even for those wishing to work at a church. - Wrong Agenda
This really has elements of the first three issues, but essentially has to do with the person’s handling of the mission that God has sent them. It appears when they feel called to the mission field, they begin to fill in all of the gaps with their interpretation of how things should go, what they should be doing, what they won’t do, etc. Since we’ve been here the biggest thing we’ve learned is the importance of listening to God, waiting on His direction, and rolling with whatever comes your way, even if it’s not on the schedule for the day. Some amazing opportunities for service have come literally out of nowhere, and I suspect if we’d forced our way about it, they would never have happened.
Bottom line: if you are stubbornly holding onto your perceived direction for ministry, it most likely won’t work. God wants to teach you through this, but you have to hand it over to God.
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- Why Do So Many Missionaries Leave? Here’s a Thought…
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Are Short-Term Missions Sabotaging the Conversion to Long-Term Missionaries?
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November 13th, 2008 at 10:23 am
[...] a previous post, I mentioned what happens when missionaries leave on bad terms. Specific to that post was the [...]
February 11th, 2009 at 11:02 am
I need your input on something. In regards to #2: “Time Waster is the young adult who doesn’t want to get a real job (or maybe continue their higher education) in the States, so they take the “admirable” mission commitment of 1-2 years here. While this sounds like a good thing, the problem lies in the original issue: they didn’t want to work or study. This attitude rarely changes when they get here, so they spend their time moping on the computer, iPod clamped to their head, avoiding work or interaction with anyone—except their Stateside online friends.”
A 24-year old former student on mine wants to be a missionary to Austria. He wants to teach at the Vienna Christian School and has to raise $3,500 USD a month in support. If I remember correctly, I think his commitment is for 2 years.
This bothers me on several levels. One, why isn’t the school PAYING him? Or at least providing him room and board and maybe some meals? In my view it is insane and highly irresponsible for a Christian organization to ask a young single man to raise that much a month. I realize Europe is expensive…but crap!
Two, it seems to me all he really wants is a two-year European vacation. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a wonderful, godly young man who genuinely wants to serve. That being said, I have tried to challenge him to make sure it’s really God calling him and not just his desire to be in Europe for 2 yrs.
BTW, he’s trying to raise 25% of his monthly support (again, $3,500 USD) on facebook. I could totally see him fitting what you described as “moping on the computer, iPod clamped to their head, avoiding work or interaction with anyone—except their Stateside online friends.”
I’m just trying to give him a good dose of reality!
What would your advice to this young man be?
February 11th, 2009 at 11:08 am
Correction:
His monthly support goal is $4,000 USD and he also has to raise a “one time” amount of $16,000 USD in addition to the monthly income. This makes me want to b-slap someone at the school or missions agency using this kid as a cash cow. Give me some perspective on this!
February 11th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
On the money/employment issue, I have to say Europe is incredibly expensive to live in. I’m unfamiliar with Austria, but the exchange rate from the Dollar to Euro is not in the American’s favour by a long shot. And most Christian ministries are severely underfunded due to the small percentage of evangelicals in the first place (as low as less than 1% of the population in some areas; again, don’t know Austria specifically). Without knowing specifics, they may not legally be able to hire him (if he is not an EU citizen) it doesn’t necessarily sound sketchy for Europe at all (it would be normal for our field), but he might want to do some fact-checking via missionaries or others who know the school. Perhaps the school can give him references from former missionaries that have worked there that he could contact?
If I told you how much we need to live (very, very modestly) in our part of Europe, you’d be shocked. Transportation (even public) is expensive, and you’re taxed for EVERYTHING, most of the time at 21% on retail. Utilities, food, bare essentials are all at a premium. I’m about to pay $65 for a 3-month mail forward–I’m only moving 14 miles away! And we usually are not compensated in any way (even as small as gas money) by any of the churches and religious groups we’ve helped with here; they just can’t afford to as giving is so low. The school may be having him raise so much as many missionaries gradually lose support over time; could be a buffer on that for the long term? Either way, I would advise him to check the school out before committing.
On the “Time Waster” subject, I just recently had a friend in the field discuss this issue with me. First, has the young man done a short fact-finding trip to Austria? Has he talked with other missionaries in the field (both in and out of the school) to get their honest perspective? Has he ever traveled out of the States or been to any part of Europe before? Has he really thought through what he’d be giving up for 1-2 years? Or considered how cold it might be compared to where he is now? Without these things, I’d say there’s less chance of success.
Let’s say he’s done all of the above and still wants to go forward. What I told my friend applies here to this young man: you have to have a teachable/humble attitude and be completely honest (especially to yourself) about why you want to do this. You have to be strong and patient when difficulties or homesickness happens (and it will). You have to still want this when all the adoration from home fades, or if someone (even a fellow Christian) challenges the point of missions. You have to be okay when you realise that life back in the States is moving on without you. What if you have enough money to live but nothing extra to tour Europe or return home for a short visit?
The reality is that you can talk to him until you’re blue in the face; since I don’t know him, if this young man is too proud to reveal true motives, or if he takes all the advice from those in the field as “that may have happened to others, but I’m different, I won’t have any problems”, then there’s not a lot more you can do. Wrong motives and bad attitudes cannot be hidden in the mission field for very long, seen it too many times.
Thanks for asking my opinion. I truly hope he follows what God wants.
February 11th, 2009 at 12:19 pm
Other questions for him: does he know the language enough to get around? So many don’t bother in a new field, and it’s a mistake. Also, can he handle the prejudice he will receive as: an immigrant, a foreigner, an American, a minority, a missionary? None of those things are respected (making a generalisation, I know).
February 13th, 2009 at 9:31 am
The following is an email exchange between the young man and I on facebook:
Chuck…help me understand why this school or missions agency is asking you to raise $16,000 in “one time” (what does that mean & where does it go?) in addition to $4,000 a month. Why aren’t they providing you with at least free room and board in Vienna? I think it’s highly irresponsible for them to ask a young man to raise that much money. I know Europe is expensive but is it really THAT expensive? It seems they’re setting you up for failure dude.
Hear me Chuck – I’m in no way questioning your heart or your calling in this. You are as godly and genuine as they come. What I *am* questioning is an overseas school or missions agency that’s using a young man like yourself as a cash cow. To me it smacks of exploitation. Where is their commitment to YOU? I know you’re going there to serve them, but it is not unreasonable to ask or expect some assistance from their part considering the high level of what they are asking of you financially. For example, here in Mexico our cash-strapped Mexican Bible School can’t pay us salaries but they do provide us with housing and pay all our utilities. They refused to accept any rent when we offered it. That’s the kind of commitment I’m talking about.
Love ya & am NOT trying to discourage you in any way!!!
CHUCK REPLIED:
Greg! Sorry it took a little bit to reply.
Well, I’m in the process of considering switching mission’s orgs. Most teachers at the school go through [name deleted]. Compared to [deleted], the budget is much more manageable. $2,300/month compared to $4,000 a month and $9,000 one-time compared to the $16,000.
I’m not sure why [school name deleted] doesn’t have room and board for their teachers (my understanding would probably be because of the cost for the school to do that and because the school is independent of any church or mission org). However, the school does offer health insurance, life insurance, and $300/month if I commit to 4 years at the school – which I’m considering.
I’m talking with my [name deleted] contact tomorrow about the possibility of switching all the support I have over to [name deleted]. Please pray that [name deleted] is willing to do this – because I have almost $6,000 of one-time support already given. However, I won’t have any trouble transferring over the pledged monthly support – which is about $800/month.
Thanks for the message! Take care bro.
~ Chuck
February 14th, 2009 at 6:49 am
Thanks for the update. Sounds like he is checking into other possibilities, which is a good start. 4 years is a LONG commitment, especially to someone in their 20’s and for so much money (now with the economy, too). He needs to think about this seriously, but I will say a lot of others thought we were totally nuts and wouldn’t last here–but we have.
Whichever agency he decides to go through, I would absolutely talk to references that are former and current missionaries with that agency. We actually started out with an agency but were able to talk to references about them, which saved us from going with them as we and the agency were not on the same page. Our funding had not started through them, which was helpful as they eventually folded.
September 24th, 2009 at 9:48 pm
I went to Germany for two months, to do a Disciple Training School with YWAM. Europe is expensive, and I can tell you for a fact that it’s the most difficult mission field in the world. Yes you get all the first world facilities and stuff like that but the people aren’t really friendly especially towards foreigners, especially foreigners that don’t look white. Also as most people said, Europe is mostly secular and the percentages of people who even wants to evangelize is very small, and sometimes even evangelizing will almost paint you as a racist. I can tell you there are times that I hated Europe and wanted to leave and not come back, and its very easy to feel alienated there. However I still feel called to Europe and despite the setback I want to be back as soon as possible, not because I want to be in Europe or whatever, but I do know that there are a very high percentage of Muslims in many parts of Europe and the percentage is rising rapidly. I felt that there are great opportunities in Europe to reach out to them. I will still continue working with YWAM and to be honest with you, looking at what some other organization require as far as support YWAM is actually quite reasonable, they require a 300 euro monthly support which is enough, and oftentimes this isn’t a hard and fast number as they will take in people with NO support. They offer housing but the costs are very low so the support really just covers what is required (insurance, house, food, etc) and everything else done as a team is often taken on faith, and they have been very successful on that.
I would say be VERY careful with agencies because most of the time they’re out to make a profit often using Christianity as a mask. Many missionaries have gone out without organizational support and God has really blessed them. Please read Luke chapter 10 to find out how Jesus really sent people out. It is our job to do what God tells us to do and it’s God’s job to provide for us (Matthew chapter 6).
September 25th, 2009 at 1:58 am
@Tai: Thank you for sharing your experiences. I’m afraid the racist issue is something to be overcome, even in my field in Western Europe. I’m very aware that if I didn’t look European I would be treated very differently.
September 25th, 2009 at 3:17 am
Racism is everywhere though, except in my country it’s racism towards itself. Here in Taiwan locals have problem getting jobs teaching English, mostly it’s white people getting those jobs and they get paid a lot, while the same person who is Asian gets paid half as much even if his or her English is just as good or better than the white person (as in someone who was raised in the USA). However even in Taiwan people are racist towards people from Indonesia or Philippines or Vietnam. I do find that if you love someone, even if he is hostile sometimes it can turn him or her around but other times it may never change…
October 2nd, 2009 at 9:58 pm
Also in response to the article itself, I would say if you feel called to be in Europe as a missionary first of all, DO NOT give up. This is true for missionary work anywhere though. Also don’t expect an easy ride just because you’re called to go to a developed country as a missionary, because usually people are less sensitive spiritually so that means you may have to work for a long time without much progress, but be persistent and you should see something. Getting people to support you may be a challenge though since people have this preconceived idea that missionaries goes to the remote jungle of South America or Africa and live in huts or tents for the rest of their life, and that Europe is just a vacation destination, or for those living in Asia, a place everyone wants to immigrate to. By the way there was a missionary to Burma that had only led one person to Christ in his whole life, but that one person led many more to Christ, so in short, ONE is worth the effort!
October 7th, 2009 at 11:23 am
@Tai: You’re right, and if God is calling anyone to missions in a place not usual (i.e., outside of the 10/40 window), they should consider God first and foremost, not Man’s broad strategy.